View 2: Divorce Only in Case of Breaking the Betrothal, Incest, Etc.
John Piper is a well-known proponent of this view. Here is a helpful document by Piper presenting 11 points and detailed justification for why the Bible only allows for divorce in case of breaking a betrothal. I would encourage you to work through it; it is very thought-provoking, especially point 11.
1.) Luke 16:18 calls all remarriage after divorce adultery.
2.) Mark 10:11-12 call all remarriage after divorce adultery whether it is the woman or the man who divorces.
3.) Mark 10:2-9 and Matthew 19:3-8 teaches that Jesus rejected the Pharisees’ interpretation of divorce from Deuteronomy 24:1 and reasserted God’s original plan in creation that no human being separate what God has joined together.
4.) Matthew 5:32 does not teach that remarriage is lawful in some cases. Rather it reaffirms that marriage after divorce is adultery, even for those who have been divorced innocently, and that a man who divorces his wife is guilty of the adultery of her second marriage unless she had already become an adulteress before the divorce.
5.) 1 Corinthians 7:10-11 teaches that divorce is wrong but that if it is inevitable the person who divorces should not remarry.
6.) 1 Corinthians 7:39 and Romans 7:1-3 teach that remarriage is legitimate only after the death of a spouse.
7.) Matthew 19:10-12 teaches that special Christian grace is given by God to Christ's disciples to sustain them in singleness when they renounce remarriage according to the law of Christ.
8.) Deuteronomy 24:1-4 does not legislate grounds for divorce but teaches that the "one-flesh" relationship established by marriage is not obliterated by divorce or even by remarriage.
9.) 1 Corinthians 7:15 does not mean that when a Christian is deserted by an unbelieving spouse he or she is free to remarry. It means that the Christian is not bound to fight in order to preserve togetherness. Separation is permissible if the unbelieving partner insists on it.
10.) 1 Corinthians 7:27-28 does not teach the right of divorced persons to remarry. It teaches that betrothed virgins should seriously consider the life of singleness, but do not sin if they marry.
11.) The exception clause of Matthew 19:9 need not imply that divorce on account of adultery frees a person to be remarried. All the weight of the New Testament evidence given in the preceding ten points is against this view, and there are several ways to make good sense out of this verse so that it does not conflict with the broad teaching of the New Testament that remarriage after divorce is prohibited.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Monday, June 8, 2009
Working through Divorce, Part 3: Understanding Different Views
View 1: The “Divorce and Remarriage for Adultery or Sexual Immorality” View
This is the most widely held view among evangelicals. They argue that porneia generally refers to sexual immorality (cf. Mark 7:21; Gal 5:19; Eph 5:3; Col 3:5). Marriage and the consequential breaking of the marriage covenant, not simply breaking a betrothal, is assumed by Christ. His view is different from the more conservative Shammai school of thought because, in going back to God’s original design in Genesis 1 and 2, he stresses that marriage is to remain permanent. Furthermore, contrary to what is said in Deuteronomy, divorce is not only to be initiated by men, but Jesus’ words imply that both men and women cannot initiate divorce under the sin of sexual immorality.
This is the most widely held view among evangelicals. They argue that porneia generally refers to sexual immorality (cf. Mark 7:21; Gal 5:19; Eph 5:3; Col 3:5). Marriage and the consequential breaking of the marriage covenant, not simply breaking a betrothal, is assumed by Christ. His view is different from the more conservative Shammai school of thought because, in going back to God’s original design in Genesis 1 and 2, he stresses that marriage is to remain permanent. Furthermore, contrary to what is said in Deuteronomy, divorce is not only to be initiated by men, but Jesus’ words imply that both men and women cannot initiate divorce under the sin of sexual immorality.
Working Through Divorce, Part 2
The infamous exception clause. Things would be much easier without it.
Jesus says in Matthew 19:9, “And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery” (ESV).
Jesus does not rule out divorce for any reason. Nobody argues with that. The question is not whether divorce is ever valid, but when and under what conditions it is valid. The debate largely centers on the exception in the above verse—“except for sexual immorality.”
Whether this is for true marriages or betrothals, here is an important observation: Jesus does NOT demand divorce; it is merely permitted. Contemporary Judaism required divorce in the case of sexual immorality; Jesus merely permits it. Thus, Jesus’ view of divorce was higher than even the conservative branch of Judaism in his day.
Jesus says in Matthew 19:9, “And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery” (ESV).
Jesus does not rule out divorce for any reason. Nobody argues with that. The question is not whether divorce is ever valid, but when and under what conditions it is valid. The debate largely centers on the exception in the above verse—“except for sexual immorality.”
Whether this is for true marriages or betrothals, here is an important observation: Jesus does NOT demand divorce; it is merely permitted. Contemporary Judaism required divorce in the case of sexual immorality; Jesus merely permits it. Thus, Jesus’ view of divorce was higher than even the conservative branch of Judaism in his day.
Working through Divorce, Part 1
A foundational verse on divorce and remarriage in the Old Testament is Deuteronomy 24:1-4, which reads as follows:
When a man takes a wife and marries her, if then she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, and if she goes and becomes another man’s wife, and the latter man hates her and writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, or if the latter man dies, who took her to be his wife, then her former husband, who sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after she has been defiled, for that is an abomination before the LORD. And you shall not bring sin upon the land that the LORD your God is giving you for an inheritance (ESV).
Notice a few things about this text:
a.) It presupposes that divorce is a reality and does not explicitly fight against it “He writes her a certificate of divorce”
b.) It conditions the reason for a divorce based upon the phrase “if then she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her” In other words, divorce for no reason is not justified in this text. The question now becomes how to properly understand “indecency.”
This passage became the nexus where all debates in Jesus’ time centered. Interpretations of “indecency” abounded. The two school of Pharisees, Shammai and Hillel, interpreted “indecency” as sexual immorality or simply not pleasing one’s husband, respectively. These debates are in view when Jesus is asked in Matthew 19 by the question, “Is it lawful to divorce one’s wife for any cause?”
Instead of replying directly to their question, Jesus ups the ante. He replies that divorce was only presupposed by Moses because of their hardness of heart, but it was not so from the beginning. God’s ideal for marriage is permanence. Therefore, as Andreas Kostenberger so effectively notes, Deuteronomy 24:1-4 is “descriptive rather than prescriptive” (God, Marriage, and Family, 228).
So, Jesus says that understanding what “indecency” means is the wrong question, for it misses the purpose of Moses’ instructions and it bats a blind eye at God’s ideal of permanence for marriage.
“So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate” (Matthew 19:6, ESV).
When a man takes a wife and marries her, if then she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, and if she goes and becomes another man’s wife, and the latter man hates her and writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, or if the latter man dies, who took her to be his wife, then her former husband, who sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after she has been defiled, for that is an abomination before the LORD. And you shall not bring sin upon the land that the LORD your God is giving you for an inheritance (ESV).
Notice a few things about this text:
a.) It presupposes that divorce is a reality and does not explicitly fight against it “He writes her a certificate of divorce”
b.) It conditions the reason for a divorce based upon the phrase “if then she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her” In other words, divorce for no reason is not justified in this text. The question now becomes how to properly understand “indecency.”
This passage became the nexus where all debates in Jesus’ time centered. Interpretations of “indecency” abounded. The two school of Pharisees, Shammai and Hillel, interpreted “indecency” as sexual immorality or simply not pleasing one’s husband, respectively. These debates are in view when Jesus is asked in Matthew 19 by the question, “Is it lawful to divorce one’s wife for any cause?”
Instead of replying directly to their question, Jesus ups the ante. He replies that divorce was only presupposed by Moses because of their hardness of heart, but it was not so from the beginning. God’s ideal for marriage is permanence. Therefore, as Andreas Kostenberger so effectively notes, Deuteronomy 24:1-4 is “descriptive rather than prescriptive” (God, Marriage, and Family, 228).
So, Jesus says that understanding what “indecency” means is the wrong question, for it misses the purpose of Moses’ instructions and it bats a blind eye at God’s ideal of permanence for marriage.
“So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate” (Matthew 19:6, ESV).
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
10 Reasons Why Sexual Sin is Harmful
1.) Our body is God’s and is not to be joined with another woman outside marriage.
“Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.” (1 Corinthians 6:19-20)
2.) The sexually immoral will not inherit the kingdom of God.
“Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral…will inherit the kingdom of God” (1 Corinthians 6:9-10)
3.) God’s will for your life is that you are made continually into the image of God.
“For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor.”
4.) We exploit and defraud others through sexual sin.
“That no one transgress and wrong his brother in this matter.” (1 Thessalonians 4:6)
5.) To disregard and ignore commands on sexual immorality is a sin against one’s own body and against God himself.
“Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.” (1 Corinthians 6:18)
“Therefore whoever disregards this, disregards not man but God, who gives his Holy Spirit to you.” (1 Thessalonians 4:8)
6.) We should not continue in sin because we have been positionally raised with Christ. Just as Christ defeated the bonds of death, so also in Christ the damning nature of sin is crushed by the cross. Therefore, to continue in sexual sin is contrary to our positional nature.
“We were buried therefore with him by baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life.” (Romans 6:4)
7.) Continued obedience and sanctification is an inherent part of “working out” one’s salvation.
“Work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.” (Philippians 2:12-13).
8.) The wages of sexual immorality is death, complete separation from God.
“For the wages of sin is death.” (Romans 6:23)
9.) Sexual immorality is deceitful: rather than bringing the promised life, it brings death.
“[A forbidden woman] does not ponder the path of life; her ways wander, and she does not know it.” (Proverbs 5:6)
10.) Sexual immorality is idolatry—valuing one’s own desires over the desires of God.
“Do not be idolaters as some of them were…We must not indulge in sexual immorality as some of them did, and twenty-three thousand fell in a single day.” (1 Corinthians 10:7-8)
“Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.” (1 Corinthians 6:19-20)
2.) The sexually immoral will not inherit the kingdom of God.
“Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral…will inherit the kingdom of God” (1 Corinthians 6:9-10)
3.) God’s will for your life is that you are made continually into the image of God.
“For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor.”
4.) We exploit and defraud others through sexual sin.
“That no one transgress and wrong his brother in this matter.” (1 Thessalonians 4:6)
5.) To disregard and ignore commands on sexual immorality is a sin against one’s own body and against God himself.
“Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.” (1 Corinthians 6:18)
“Therefore whoever disregards this, disregards not man but God, who gives his Holy Spirit to you.” (1 Thessalonians 4:8)
6.) We should not continue in sin because we have been positionally raised with Christ. Just as Christ defeated the bonds of death, so also in Christ the damning nature of sin is crushed by the cross. Therefore, to continue in sexual sin is contrary to our positional nature.
“We were buried therefore with him by baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life.” (Romans 6:4)
7.) Continued obedience and sanctification is an inherent part of “working out” one’s salvation.
“Work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.” (Philippians 2:12-13).
8.) The wages of sexual immorality is death, complete separation from God.
“For the wages of sin is death.” (Romans 6:23)
9.) Sexual immorality is deceitful: rather than bringing the promised life, it brings death.
“[A forbidden woman] does not ponder the path of life; her ways wander, and she does not know it.” (Proverbs 5:6)
10.) Sexual immorality is idolatry—valuing one’s own desires over the desires of God.
“Do not be idolaters as some of them were…We must not indulge in sexual immorality as some of them did, and twenty-three thousand fell in a single day.” (1 Corinthians 10:7-8)
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Love is the Key to Conquering Anxiety
In Romans 13:8, Paul writes, “Owe no one anything, except to love each other, for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law.” The one who loves has fulfilled the law. What does this mean?
Immediately after this statement, Paul then gives different commands: “You shall not commit adultery, you shall not murder, you shall not steal, you shall not covet, and any other commandment, are summed up in this word: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’” All commandments (“any other commandment”) are consummated in loving one’s neighbor. I take that to mean that if I commit a sin of omission or commission, the root problem is not that I have a nasty habit I need to kick, but it is that I am not a loving person. Love is the issue, not mental or social conditioning.
Is it really this simple? Let’s take a test case. How about anxiety. We are commanded in Philippians 4:6 not to be anxious about anything. A positive command for anxiety is also given in Proverbs 16:3: “Commit your work to the LORD, and your plans will be established.” If I stray from this command and let the issues of my day overwhelm me, am I loving others?
I do not believe so. When I am anxious, I am not trusting God to provide for me. I am allowing the worries of my life to be ultimate, rather than God’s promises to provide for me to be ultimate. If my worries and concerns are supreme, and if my delight for God is diminished (I am not trusting him!), then how can this attitude point others toward Christ (This is what is most loving)? My attitude will be one of despair and self-pity, causing others to be drawn to my concerns, rather than have a heart-felt trust in God’s sovereign plan despite overwhelming circumstances. That kind of peace will glorify God, and that is loving others.
Today, fulfill the law, and by the Holy Spirit’s aid (Gal 5:22), love others.
Immediately after this statement, Paul then gives different commands: “You shall not commit adultery, you shall not murder, you shall not steal, you shall not covet, and any other commandment, are summed up in this word: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’” All commandments (“any other commandment”) are consummated in loving one’s neighbor. I take that to mean that if I commit a sin of omission or commission, the root problem is not that I have a nasty habit I need to kick, but it is that I am not a loving person. Love is the issue, not mental or social conditioning.
Is it really this simple? Let’s take a test case. How about anxiety. We are commanded in Philippians 4:6 not to be anxious about anything. A positive command for anxiety is also given in Proverbs 16:3: “Commit your work to the LORD, and your plans will be established.” If I stray from this command and let the issues of my day overwhelm me, am I loving others?
I do not believe so. When I am anxious, I am not trusting God to provide for me. I am allowing the worries of my life to be ultimate, rather than God’s promises to provide for me to be ultimate. If my worries and concerns are supreme, and if my delight for God is diminished (I am not trusting him!), then how can this attitude point others toward Christ (This is what is most loving)? My attitude will be one of despair and self-pity, causing others to be drawn to my concerns, rather than have a heart-felt trust in God’s sovereign plan despite overwhelming circumstances. That kind of peace will glorify God, and that is loving others.
Today, fulfill the law, and by the Holy Spirit’s aid (Gal 5:22), love others.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Relationships: Are You a Giver or Taker?
Note: From early February to mid-March, I taught a series of lessons on sexuality and relationships for the youth group at First Baptist Church in Webster, WI. This article, hopefully followed by a number of others, will draw from those talks.
Some men follow rainbows, I am told,
Some search for silver, some for gold
But I have found my treasure is in your soul
All I ever need is you
Without love I would never find the way
Through ups and downs of ever single day
And I won’t ever sleep at night until I hear you say
“All I ever need is you”
With these words, Kenny Rogers and Dottie West conclude their country hit song, “All I Ever Need is You.” The song is about romantic relationships, and we as humans, both young and old alike, naturally find ourselves identifying with the message. Of course, God has created love, and it is a wonderful thing is his eyes, but is this song an attitude a young man or woman should have in a relationship? Or, more pointedly, could one feel these words and truly be loving? I would suggest that although they seem innocent enough, these lyrics are NOT loving, but rather selfish and idolatrous.
To see how this works out, let’s look to the Bible. In the beginning of time, God made Adam and Eve, and he proclaims everything as being “very good.” Given as a test, a tree is placed in the center of the Garden, and God forbids the happy couple from eating of its fruits. After some time, the serpent comes along, makes God’s rules look terrible, and convinces Eve to eat of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. In the events following hereafter, we learn three things about relationships: Adam chose gift over Giver, a conflict between the sexes ensued, and a hope for redemption was administered.
We first learn that Adam chose gift over Giver. When Eve ate of the fruit, she disobeyed God. Adam, who was standing right beside Eve, was then presented with this fruit, and it was at this time that he had an incredible choice to make. On the one hand, he could obey God’s commands and trust him, or on the other hand, he could enter into sin with the gift given to him, his wife. He chose poorly. He turned to Eve and said, “I think I will find true life with you, obeying you, rather than obeying God and getting my life from him.” Sadly, Adam did not realize that Eve was given as an aid and complement rather than one that could fulfill.
Secondly, as soon as Adam placed Eve above the place of God, conflict ensued. Though he should have taken responsibility for what he had done, Adam cowardly places the blame on God and Eve (“The woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me fruit of the tree, and I ate” 3:12). The woman is cursed, having a desire to manipulate men through beauty and sex, serving their own desires rather than the glory of God (3:16). The man is cursed in relation to his sphere, the field, where he will now struggle to provide for his wife and family. Idolatry in relationships did not pan out well.
Finally, we see hope for redemption. In Geneses 3:21, an animal dies to cover the nakedness of Adam and Eve. Their sin caused the death of another. All the progeny of Adam and Eve have found themselves elevating different things to the level of ULTIMATE, and this often includes the opposite sex. We are cursed, drowning in our inward-bent. Someone needed to become a curse, like the lamb, and die so that we could be released from that curse. That man was Jesus Christ. He came so that we could finally be givers and leaders and nurturers rather than simply takers, expecting others to satisfy us. In Christ, we can finally truly love our boyfriends/girlfriends, fiancé, or spouse by pointing them to God rather than self to find true fulfillment.
Are you looking to another boy or girl to fulfill you? Are you pining away for a relationship, thinking that you will only be satisfied if you have it? This approach did not work well for Adam and Eve, and it will not work well for you. Only when you trust in God as the wellspring of life (Ps. 16:11), are you then truly ready for a relationship, being a giver rather than just a taker.
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