Sunday, March 2, 2008

23 going on 13? A Call to Mature Manhood

Note: This is an article I recently penned for the Northwestern College school paper, The Column.

“Oh, come on! Be a man!” Undoubtedly you have heard this phrase. More often than not it is used by a group of rather snobbish delinquents daring a naïve friend to do something quite stupid. Point is, if he does this daring physical feat, he is a man. If he does not, he has come up short in attaining desired masculinity.

I fear that for many young, male Christians, their conception of manhood is similarly blind. The assumption is that true manhood in Christianity is nothing more than being a wildman who embraces adventure but cringes at responsibility. A man who welcomes mystery with open arms but buckles at the thought of leadership. A man who values being a “lone ranger” but sneers at the call to be a spiritual provider for others.

Simply put, the growing pattern for young men is to imitate the passivity that is so commonplace among men in our culture. For some, it is called adultolescence—a phenomenon where men never grow up and simply become 30 and 40-year-old boys.

Men throughout the ages have struggled with passivity, but how did this recent phenomenon come about? Many answers could be given, but the following strikes at the core of the issue: We as a Church have failed to speak courageously and clearly from the Word of God on what the calling of a man is.
Growing up, I never was exhorted to become a man. I frankly did not know what defined a man. As far as I was concerned, I wanted my life to echo the old Toys-R-Us jingle: “I don’t wanna grow up; I’m a Toys-R-Us kid.” If someone were to ask me what the difference should be between a mature man and a mature woman, I would have responded with eerie silence.

As I grew older, I came to appreciate that the call for manhood found in the Bible was unmistakably clear. Being a man is taking responsibility rather than shirking one’s tasks. It is realizing that a man is called to be a spiritual provider in appropriate ways to men and women (1 Tim 3:4-5; Eph 6:4). It is acknowledging that husbands are called to love their wives as Christ loved the Church (Eph 5:22-33). It is also the courage to lead in a likewise manner. It is affirming that fathers are to provide physically for their families, and if they do not, they are worse than an unbeliever (1 Tim 5:8). Above all, it is the calling to grow in godliness and be zealous for God’s glory (1 Tim 4:7).

What is a man? It is certainly not a passive man, one who simply does not “wanna grow up” and spends all of his free time on the internet or Halo. It is not a bullying, tyrannical leader. Much less is it a Christianized wildman, one who loves the thrills of the outdoors and extreme sports but has no capacity to shepherd others. It is a humble, firm leader. It is a providing, protecting, loving, nurturing, God-fearing, mature man.

This is the biblical calling. Men, how shall we respond?

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